It's not the letter writing. It's not the packaging (unless you've ever seen me trying to tape up a box single-handed that has about 1.5 times the "legal" square inch limit of stuff in it). It's not the nights up emailing, chatting and losing sleep, the money spent on morale, support "stuff" to send over and the postage.
It's not even the losses that accompany being involved in war.
I'm a Team Leader for Soldiers' Angels Letter Writing Team. I have a group (or a platoon, as I like to say) of 40+ Angels that I coordinate daily with the Heroes for letter/card support. I see a lot of names. I send out a lot of names. Some are unique enough you remember them. Some send a message in that initial sign-up that touches you in just the right way and they are remembered as well. I'm also a member of the Wounded TLC Team for SA. We send cards of hope, thanks and encouragement to those healing from the wounds of battle. That's a difficult card to send.
In the days that pass, I see the names of our Heroes who have made the greatest sacrifice. In my time with SA, I have seen the number of names I recognize grow. What stops me cold is the name of the Hero that I have physically sent to one of my team, or to whom I personally have written. These folks become like extended family. They laugh, joke, cry, talk, vent and love us. And we love them. Having them come home and lose contact with us through the everyday ebb and flow of life is disheartening, but at least we know they're alright; it's one less worry. Having them lost to the cruelty of war is heartbreaking. And it hurts our hearts when this happens. When an Angel loses her "official" adoptee, it is brutal. We wonder if we'll be able to continue supporting them. It's like making new friends, or finding new love, or having mixed family. You learn about them, you get to know them, you have "relationships" of sorts with them, as a brother, sister, father would. Then they're gone. You grieve for them, their families and loved ones, and yourself.
You've lost a part of yourself. The one that thrived on talking to them (whether online or in letters) and hearing their perspective, their thoughts and feelings; learning as we can't from books. You wonder if you have the internal strength to commit to taking another Hero under your wing. Are you able to make them feel as appreciated and loved as the one who was lost? Can you open up and talk of the same things as you did with your departed Hero, without bringing to the front the death of a comrade? Can you overcome your fears of another loss and move on with the mission at hand?
You'd better, because there are many more out there who need that kind word of encouragement to get them through one more day. More to whom getting that little box of goodies that lets them know they are being thought of when they think they have no one else in the world. More to whom it means the world when they "chat" online and have some sort of contact to the familiar world of American life.
So, step up, gear up and get it together, Angel. Cry for the ones lost - not that they've died, but that they lived to protect us*.
The hardest part is loving them.
Miss B
*paraphrase of the famous quote "It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived."
- General George S. Patton, Jr
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